666 Park Avenue: So far so so-so

Gavin Doran surveys his domain

Evil landlord Gavin Doran surveys his domain.

I‘ve been struggling to write a review of 666 Park Avenue for several weeks.  And each week delayed means another episode gets added to the list.  Here’s the problem:  With the exception of landlords Gavin and Olivia Doran, the inhabitants of the Drake are a dull and not-too-bright bunch.  Neighbors greet each other in the lobby as if they’re the best of friends, but their conversations have have all the sincerity of fingernails on a chalk board.

But since yet another episode is set to air tonight, let’s go back about one month to look at two episodes that were basically two parts of one 2-hour show.

The Dead Don’t Stay Dead and Hero Complex

Two stars for two 666 Park Avenue episodesGavin and Olivia had a daughter who died in a car accident.  Only Olivia knows it was suicide, because she has a letter from her daughter saying Gavin is evil and she couldn’t take it anymore.

Does this mean Olivia isn’t evil?  She’s been ambiguously written, so I guess we have to stay tuned.

Gavin urges Henry to “dream bigger,” and convinces him to impress a city councilman. Henry does, and gets hired.  But the councilman won’t bend to Gavin’s wishes and winds up at the bottom of an elevator shaft.  So, no new job for Henry.

Back at his current job, Henry’s boss, the city planning commissioner, is investigating Gavin.  Henry’s threatened with legal action if he doesn’t help his boss get dirt on Gavin.  But Gavin says the city planning commissioner has ties to organized crime, and everyone knows it.  So Henry’s all conflicted.  Henry does get some dirt on Gavin, but in the end doesn’t use it.  Because, you know, he’s a hero.

The “resident of the (two) week(s)” is Annie, a newspaper reporter, stuck writing obituaries.  (It doesn’t help that she’s dumber than Jane.)  Gavin tells her to be creative, so she begins making up obituaries.  And they come true.  Unfortunately, she also creates a hired assassin who comes to life and turns up at her apartment to kill her.  After he tortures her.

Annie manages to escape by naming her boss as her source.  So the killer leaves her and runs off to kill her boss.  Because Annie’s too stupid to write a story killing said killer, she goes to Gavin (although it’s not explained how a real estate developer can save her from an assassin).   Gavin says he’ll make sure the killer never bothers her again if she writes an expose on Henry’s boss.  She does, but when she realizes the commissioner’s life is in danger, she tries to stop it, only to be shot in the head.  Well.  At least the killer won’t bother her again.

Oh, and Henry actually saves his boss from the assassin.  Right after he’d been fired.  He’s a hero!


A Crowd of Demons

…plays up to the grand Halloween party at the Drake.  And we have not one, but two damsels in distress.

Two stars for "A Crowd of Demons"The man in the suitcase came to life at the end of the previous episode.  We now flash back to 1929 and one Peter Kramer (suitcase man), who murders his wife with a hatchet.  Before she dies, though, she gives a necklace to her daughter, who’s hiding under the bed.  This happens to be the same necklace Jane received from her grandmother.  Duh-duh-da-duh!  *key evil music*

Newly reanimated Peter Kramer recognizes Jane’s necklace and chases her through the Drake (she’s barefoot, of course, because this wouldn’t be 666 Park Avenue with Jane running around the Drake barefoot).  It’s more of those hunt-and-chase scenes I fast-forward through.  During the chase, some unknown guy gets hatcheted right in front of Jane.  Eventually Peter hatchets through the drywall, and the birds living in the walls that Jane didn’t kill way back when, come to her defense and kill Peter.  Or rekill him, because he’s already dead?  Of course, once the police arrive, all evidence has disappeared.

Someone is trying to get at Gavin by going after Olivia.  It’s a smart move,  since Gavin is made of Teflon.  It’s absolutely the right thing to do, because Gavin absolutely adores her.  It’s nice to Gavin a little vulnerable.  Anyway, during the Halloween party, Olivia is abducted by someone in a gas mask.

Olivia turns up safe, but in the commotion following her abduction and Gavin’s distraction, someone broke into the Doran’s safe and stole an ornate red box.

There’s also some stuff that goes on with the Drake’s other young  couple, Brian and Louise, but they’re so incredibly boring (and their problems are of the all-too-human kind), the only reason they’re mentioned here is their awesome  Halloween costumes.  Because, you know, the ordinarily hunky Robert Buckley could not look any goofier.

I’ll review “Diabolique” and “Downward Spiral” later this week.  Just let me say that “Diabolique” is my favorite episode to date, and I’m actually looking forward to “Downward Spiral.”

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One response to “666 Park Avenue: So far so so-so

  1. Pingback: 666 Park Avenue: Hypnos « SciFi Chick (s)

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