Where’s Once Upon a Time?

I am no longer be covering Once Upon a Time.  The ending of the episode “Lacey” bothered me.  I have been disliking some aspects of the show for awhile, and “Lacey” put me over the edge.

It’s sad, because Once Upon a Time seemed to be the show of most interest to visitors here.  But I can’t watch, let alone write about, something I don’t enjoy.

Once Upon a Time: Selfless, Brave and True (218)

This episode gets 2 stars.I was so underwhelmed by “Selfless, Brave and True” that I immediately deleted it from my DVR.  Not on purpose, but still.  I suppose I could rewatch it on OnDemand, but ABC doesn’t let you fast-forward, and I’m not willing to sit through everything (including commercials), so… pfft.

Perhaps the episode wasn’t that bad, but it left me unsatisfied.  Not that I know what would have satisfied me, but it wasn’t that.

August shows his damaged leg to the mystic known as The Dragon

The Dragon takes a look at Augusts green, er, wooden leg.

Rather than a trip to Fairy Tale Land, our alternate universe this week is 2011 Thailand.  That’s where August, aka Pinocchio, is partaking in debauchery when his leg turns to wood.  (It’s also when Emma came to Storybrooke and time started moving again.  But I didn’t make that connection until I read Cindy McLennan’s recap.)  He visits a mystic called “The Dragon” who can cure him in exchange for something dear to August.  Oh, and $10,000 cash.

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Once Upon aTime: The Miller’s Daughter (216)

This episode gets 4 stars.I was right!  And wrong.  There is history between Cora and Eva.  But they’re not sisters.  Young Eva’s a royal shit who abuses commoners for no particular reason.  Young Cora’s quite a feisty—and shrewdly intelligent—peasant.  But this history leaves a lot of questions.  Is Cora’s only beef with Eva that she tripped her once?  How did Eva go from being a brat to the uber-honorable queen of “The Queen Is Dead”?  And how did Cora go from being a princess to… what was she when we first met her?  She wasn’t royalty.  Was she?

Rose McGowan as Cora wears one of the most beautiful wedding gowns in the history of television.

The fourth Charmed One models one of the most beautiful wedding gowns in the history of television.

Hey!  Once Upon a Time incorporated an actual fairy tale! And it was pretty close to the Brothers Grimm version.  But better, or at least more in line with the personalities of the players.  Rumpelstiltskin teaches the miller’s daughter, aka Cora how to spin straw into gold (rather than do it himself).  With her gold-spinning success, Cora is set to marry the prince.  But she loves Rumple.  The king, however, convinces her to marry for power (his son the prince) rather than love (Rumple).  So she removes her heart to not feel her love.  (There’s other stuff that goes on in Fairy Tale Land, but it’s not that memorable.)  Cora marries the prince, then gives birth to Regina.  So Regina is actually a princess.  Did we know that before?  If so, why is Cora so set on her marrying “the king,” aka Snow White’s dad?  Wouldn’t she have become a queen anyway?  Perhaps it all relates to how we first met Fairy Tale Land Cora and Regina not as royalty.

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Once Upon a Time: The Queen Is Dead (215)

A young Snow White comforts her mother.

Snow White and Queen Eva:  We all should look so beautiful dying.

Bailey Madison, the actress who plays young Snow White is incredible.  Not only does she show us Snow’s heartache and pain, you can actually see adult Snow White in her.  It’s not just a physical resemblance, it’s her mannerisms.  To be able to channel a character defined by someone else when so young is truly amazing.

For the last few episodes (since the car accident?), Hook has been without his hook.  In the meantime he’s worn a glove where his left hand should be.  He’s anxious to get his hook back, even though the glove is more esthetically pleasing.  I suppose he needs the hook in order to stab Gold.  After all, it’d be hard to fatally wound someone with a glove.  Besides, “Captain Glove” doesn’t sound all that menacing.

This episode gets 4 (out of 4) stars.So yes, Hook gets his hook back, sails his invisible ship to Manhattan, and stabs Gold.  Oh, and apparently he’s tipped the hook with a poison for which there is no antidote.  The only recourse for the “Manhattan Four” is to return to Storybrooke and cure Gold with magic.  But for such an urgent undertaking, they seem to waste a lot of time talking and introducing fiancés.

It’s Snow White’s birthday, in both Fairy Tale Land and in Storybrooke.  Storybrooke Snow wants nothing to do with it, and isn’t happy to receive a gift.  But when she finds out what it is and who sent it, she softens.  It’s a tiara, and it’s from Mrs. Patmore, er, Johanna, a  handmaiden in Fairy Tale Land (or, since we’re doing a Downton Abbey mashup, lady’s maid).  Snow finds Johanna planting snowdrops, and they have a heartfelt reunion.

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Once Upon a… First Take

Once Upon a Time:  The Queen Is Dead

This is the second week in a row Once Upon a Time has hit it out of the park.  The “everything changes” tactic they seemed to be going for in 2013 is working.

And… and… Mrs Patmore!

Mary Margaret and David battle evil.

Snow White learns that good doesn’t always win. Damn it.

I seemed to be full of observations tonight.  Were we going to have to start calling Hook “Captain Hand”?  Nope, he got his hook back.  The girl who played Princess Snow White was terrific.  Impressive how similar her expressions were to Ginnifer Goodwin’s.  And I’m looking forward to learning more about Baelfire’s past.  Unless he dies next week.

Sadly,  good did not triumph over evil this week.  Well, we’ve always known that to be the case in the real world.   Many more thoughts to come in a longer recap, if I don’t get too bogged down in Supernatural March Madness.

Once Upon a Time catch-up

Let’s use this Oscar “holiday” to catch up on a couple of neglected episodes.

Tiny (213)

This episode gets 2 (out of 4) stars  Wow.  I hadn’t realized how little an impression the giant story from “Tallahassee” left on me until I looked back and saw I barely mentioned it.   Was the giant’s name ever mentioned?  Whatever, he returns and we get his back story, as well as his present-day Storybrooke tale.  His name is Anton, but all the other giants (in the past, because he’s now the only one left) call him Tiny.  Because, apparently, he is, compared to all the other giants.  Living in the clouds with his giant family and ridiculed for his size and inquisitiveness, he becomes fascinated with the human world.  So much so that he descends the beanstalk to see the other world. Continue reading

Where are those recaps?

I blame Downton Abbey.  And February.  Gosh, I find all sorts of things to blame for my laziness.

Robert and Matthew walk on the Downton grounds.

Downton Abbey: blessing or curse?

Actually, I’m making a few changes.  First of all, I won’t be covering Merlin anymore.  I’ve had a hard time getting interested in the story this year.  So after a few weeks of trying to get up the energy to even watch an episode, I’ve decided to drop it from the lineup.

Secondly, I’ve been on a Downton Abbey kick.  I’m not sure why, given that I think it’s quite overrated.  But like many things that aren’t good for you, I’ve become hooked.  And like that car wreck on the highway, I can’t look away.

So, this is just a long-ish way of saying I’ll be back with reviews for Supernatural and Dragons: Riders of Berk later this week.  And next week I’ll get caught up with Once Upon a Time.

One other thing.  You may have noticed I changed my rating scheme from 5 stars to 4 stars.  I found 5 stars gave me too many choices, not a good thing for someone as indecisive as I.  Also, sometimes the star ratings are not properly sized.  If that’s the case, just refresh your browser.  (In the meantime, I’ll be troubleshooting.)